I can take care of my mother.

Ms Jainab Bte Abdullah, 45 had been looking after her mother, Mdm Halimah Bte Abdullah, 68 who had a stroke that left her totally paralysed. Despite great odds, she fights on to care for her mother at home. This is her story.

" My mother is a very caring and kind woman but she had a hard life when she was young. Then she met my father and had a loving marriage. So when my father passed away 8 years ago, my brother and I were determined to give her a good life. We told her not to go out to work, and that we will look after her.

However in 1998, my mother suddenly had a stroke. This left her left side paralysed. I was then working as a production operator and would prepare her lunch and place it next to her bed before I go to work. Together with my brother as a security guard, we managed to get by on our modest salary. Then in March 2001 my mother suddenly collapsed at a relative's funeral. We rushed her to the hospital and we were later told that she had a second stroke. She was much worse and totally paralysed. We were very worried that we will lose her, but as she slowly recovered and was able to come home we were very relieved.

Now, my mother can move her eyes. She can't speak or move but I know how she is and what she needs. She is my mother after all. It breaks my heart to see that she cannot do anything for herself anymore. I was retrenched last year and am now doing contract work in a factory. I ask for night shift so that there is someone at home in the day time. My brother, who is married comes to see her at night.

So when I get home in the morning, I will wash her, change her diapers and give her the milk feed. Because of the stroke she is not able to eat. I have to feed her through a tube. Then I will do some housework. I cannot sleep a long stretch in the day as I need to wake up to feed her or to change her. At most, I only sleep 2- 3 hours a day.

The milk feeds is expensive, about $3.00 per can and the nurse told me that I need to give my mother 5 cans a day. This is a lot of money. To save on the cans, I give her porridge water for some meal and milk feeds for others. I know that the nutritional value is lesser but what can I do? At least we can make the cans of milk feed last longer.

Recently, my health is not good, and I had to be hospitalised. I am so worried because I cannot work. We are not able to pay for the milk feed and the diapers and owe some money. How am I going to look after my mother? I was therefore very happy and relieved when the social worker told me that they will give us $360 each month through HomeCare Assist to buy the milk feed and diapers. I am very grateful to the medical social workers at Changi General Hospital. They have helped my family a lot through many forms of help.

The help they gave helped me keep my mother at home. My mother has told us before that she does not want to go to a nursing home. No matter how difficult it is, I don't want to put her in a home. Even if I am tired, I know I can still take care of her.

I count my blessings. I know there are people with more problems than me. At least I still have my mother and my brother with me. "